Senior European Q-School 2006

Day 1 of stage 1 of Q-school arrives and I am nervous as hell, the weather is nice with about 10 mile an hour winds, I am to tee off at 9:20am and Bertus is off at 8:20. We are travelling in the same car so we get to the course at 7.15 and start to practice and warm up. I hang around for about an hour before I go to the range and have a really good warm-up, and then with about 20 minutes to spare I head off to the putting green. I start working on my putting and I bend over to line up a ball and my new pants that I had bought especially for the event split with a loud rip. This is a disaster, I can’t get to the hotel to change, so I go into the pro shop and try and find a new pair as I just cannot wear these. I mean they split and they split from ear to ear. Well I try on a few pairs of pants and they are all either way to big or way too small, seems 36” pants were sold out. The next thing I hear my name being called for my tee time, and I have 2 minutes to get to the tee before I am accessed a 2 stroke penalty, not exactly how you want to start Q-school. Well I grab my bag put it on my back and run for the tee. The Pro shop doors were open so no problem there, or so I thought. It turns out that they are automatic sliding doors and as I run out they start to close. Well I get through OK but my clubs do not and I go ass over kettle, my legs go flying, my now semi naked butt is up in the air and I come crashing down. The force of the impact with the doors have knocked them off their hinges. Anyway I pick myself up and look at the 1st tee, my playing partners, the starter, and just about everyone that saw this happen was rolling on the floor with laughter. I on the other hand was highly embarrassed. Well at least it did not cost me 2 strokes. The round gets underway and I make a few pars, a few bogeys and a few birdies, ever conscious of my ripped pants. The few spectators we have are commenting about my split pants and try as I may to hide it, the split draws comments far and wide. We get to the 14th hole and I do not see a lady standing behind me as I tee up, so I settle in to tee off and I hear someone attempting not to laugh, well I back off and look at the woman you about now is ready to split her sides but is attempting to not to distract us while we are playing, so in a moment of levity I say to her, I guess it pays to advertise, well, that just set everyone off again, and I was being ragged by all and sundry. How I knocked that Tee shot down the fairway I will never know, but I par 14 through 17 and am standing on the 18th tee even par. No 18 is a par 5 and I manage to find the fairway, hit a 3 iron down the gut to my chosen yardage and have 100 yards to the flag. The shot is uphill to a raised green right below the clubhouse and I look at this shot and I say to myself, do not hit this ball past the hole as you will have to putt with your butt facing the clubhouse, so what do I do, I hit it 4 feet past the hole, and one of my partners says, and how to you think you are going to putt that. Hmm, so I dig in my bag and pull out my sweater and tie it around my waist sort of like a dress. It really did not matter though, as the stories of this guy playing with split pants had been doing its round for the last few hours. I knock in the putt and get a standing ovation and roars of laughter, seems everyone had been waiting for me. In all of this I shoot 71 and am tied for 2nd after day one. Bertus shot 71 and John Rushnell shot 72. All in all a good day, even though I spent most of it blushing. To be continued …